It's Time for More Coffee: MOMday:Saying No

Since I've become a mother, I've said the word no more times than my kids can count. Often they know when I'm going to say it before I do. Sometimes I say it after not even listening to what the kids ask for (can you believe I came THIS close to turning down a hug AND a kiss from the eight year old the other night?)

Kids I can say no to.

Adults are harder.

I end up saying yes to so many things, that before I know it, I am piled on with so many other things, I hardly have time to be a mother anymore!

Then I was given the gift of twins.

While people might ask a pregnant woman to serve on a committee, or bake an extra pan of brownies, or organize a library corner at school, somehow, women pregnant with multiples tend to get a "get out of committee work free" card.

The bedrest part helps.

And once those babies are born, a mother of multiples is off limits for a good six months. It is kind of nice, until the guilt sets in.

It is hard to sit back and say no to every offer. So then there is a point where a mom begins to feel human again and takes on more and more. And then a baby (or two) gets sick, and older kids' homework is not getting done. And there are scout and sport events every night...and the Mother of Multiples starts to look like a crazed deer in the headlights.

This was me last week. It was not pretty.

On my calendar for this past weekend was a Pastor's Wives' Retreat. I was going to take the girls along. I was looking forward to it.

However, as the week wore on, it became apparent that there was going to be more work than retreat in the weekend. Going away for the weekend was going to require that I have the housework all caught up (translation: laundry). I'd need to make sure meals were planned in my absence and church clothes set out for the boys. I'd also need to make sure that camping gear was ready to go for the two big boys as they had a Boy Scout camping trip planned for the weekend. It was starting to look not very relaxing.

I was DREADING the weekend.

So, I said no...to the retreat. And I said yes, to my family.

I skipped the retreat and when my two younger boys begged to go to the Pumpkin Patch, I dropped my housework (yay!) and toted the four youngest kids out for a day in the country. We all had so much fun and enjoyed a rare warm fall day. And then I came home and threw together a salad and joined the Rev. and the older two boys at their Boy Scout picnic and Court of Honor. I was able to enjoy some great Boy Scout family company, and I would have missed it all had I not said no.

I've started to rethink my "no" answers as "yes" answers. I said "no" to the retreat, but I said "yes" to my kids.